The Aunt Mary or Clarence Effect

Email: robinccumcmedia@gmail.com

 Not too long ago I was having tea with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while. Somehow the conversation got to my grandmother.

My friend was recounting a happy memory she had with my grandmother – how she, like pretty much any and everyone who met her – called “Aunt Mary.”  It was a beautiful story and one I won’t disclose except to say, my grandmother was a positive presence, and good friend, all unbeknownst to me over the years. And my friend was impacted with a sense of loss when my grandmother died.

Not long after, I discovered how she befriended other friends and classmates over the years.

My grandmother has been gone for over twenty years and yet during our conversation she was as alive and present as if sitting in the next chair. Her goodness was palpable, her light still shining bright in both of us alive to reminisce, and each of us is the better for knowing Aunt Mary.

I was telling this story to a dear friend over lunch. Recall in an earlier blog I mentioned a man named Clarence. He was a Quaker and someone who, like Aunt Mary seemed to have a gift for bringing out and helping burn brighter the inner light in others. He went out of his way to see it in others, to celebrate their innate ability to make a difference, and by that simple encounter and countenance, often brought it to be.

My grandmother had that same gift.

My late mamma Bella – a term of endearment to an older friend – shared a story about how my grandmother was showing her around Philadelphia, when all of a sudden Aunt Mary saw a homeless woman rummaging through a trash can. All 4 foot 11 inches of Aunt Mary raced across Broad Street and started talking with the woman. My friend followed, and watched grand-mom speak to the woman at length, give her some money and the business card of a priest she worked with in Philadelphia who ran a ministry helping homeless women get jobs and a place to live.

Fast forward six months later, Bella goes and visits my grandmother again. They walk into an upscale restaurant without a reservation but hoping a table for two might become available. The hostess reflexively but politely informs my grandmother reservations are pretty full, then stops after looking more closely at her, excuses herself and soon returns only to direct them to one of the best seats in the house.

Both grand-mom and Bella are bewildered by that; something not missed by the hostess who says you probably don’t recognize me, but I certainly recognize you. You helped turn my life around. I was the woman looking for food in the trash can. You sent me to find help and I found God and love. I’ve got this great job and a place to live. Enjoy your lunch. Then she and grand-mom hugged, and the woman went back to work.

I tear up every time I share, or type this story. True love is powerful and our ability to help others can be infinitely more profound than the seemingly small acts of God’s Love we choose to share might suggest. But God is great at making little gifts into great wonders. Jesus took the kindness of a young boy who offered all he had, and in the Power of the Holy Spirit fed thousands with the lunch.

But the story goes beyond money, a priest and a new job. All good, all worth the effort.

Grand mom saw the person, the Light inside someone others looked past.

How often do we see the inner Light in people? How often do we take the opportunity, take the chance to lead people to help, to hope, to God the Source of our Light?

Sometimes all it takes is a kind word and seeing the person. Other times a bit more effort.

I have no idea how many of my friends and classmates, strangers, relatives and parishioners Aunt Mary touched in her life. But I do know the effect she had.

I don’t know how many people Clarence touched, but I know the effect he had.

Both are remembered long after they have gone to the Lord.

Whenever I get off track, I need to remember the Aunt Mary and Clarence effect because they are human examples of carrying Christ’s Light, seeing His Light in others, and sharing it to a weary world.

The Aunt Mary effect, the Clarence effect – making the world a better place because they lived, because it was who they were…..seeing the Light in others, and helping them shine brighter, guiding people to live closer to the Light, and helping them experience a better life full of what God wants for all of us. That’s their legacy.

May it be so for all of us – while we are alive, and someday when people talk lovingly about us over a cup of tea.